Finished: A Handful of Dust (Waugh). A good book...starting out a bit light-hearted, but then taking such a dark turn. I hated the ending! A Handful of Dust is considered one of the top 100 books on a few different lists. It is billed as uproariously funny and witty. I kind of get the witty part, because the dialogue is very quick and, well, witty at times. However, I never laughed out loud and the underlying plot of the novel I would never classify as uproariously funny.

It's the 1930's and Lord Tony Last and his wife, Lady Brenda Last live on a massive family estate, Hetton Abbey, complete with it's own little church, in the England countryside. They've been married for 7 years and have a precocious young son, John Andrew. Little John Andrew is actually a fleshed out character with many scenes of dialogue, the liveliness and innocence of a five or six year old, and his own pony he's learning to take over jumps. He adores his parents, but he's mostly in the company of Nanny, though Tony and Brenda appear to adore John as well. Tony loves the country estate and was even born there. He is opposed to remodeling, loving the Gothic architecture, etc. He intends to hand the estate down to his son to keep in the family. Brenda and Tony have a loving, quipping, non-stressful life, complete with going in to London every so often to participate in the social scene, or more to their liking, having big parties of people down to Hetton Abbey for weekends.

John Beaver is a twenty-five year old, jobless, society-whore, is the only way I can think to put it, who lives with his mother and contributes in no visible way to their income. His mother runs a little shop that deals with furniture and upholstery and remodeling, etc. John floats through his life waiting for invitations to lunch and dinner from wealthy society women. And, he's not even usually their first choice. (Apparently it was one of the big no no's of English society to have a luncheon or dinner without equal number of men as women, so he would wait by the phone to be called at the last minute to join a party after the phoning woman had exhausted all other choices.) None of the men respect him, i.e., he's not wanted at any of the clubs and most don't give him the time of day.

One evening, after having a few too many drinks at the club, Tony Last mentions off-handedly that John Beaver should come down to Hetton Abbey to see the big house some weekend. John Beaver takes that as an invitation for that very weekend, and shows up just when Tony and Brenda are planning a quiet weekend doing nothing. Tony and Brenda have several bedrooms in the estate, all seemingly named after characters from King Arthur. They put John in the least comfortable room, hoping he'll leave the next day on the train. Tony, who's not really good at socializing with people he doesn't enjoy, leaves Brenda to do most of the entertaining of John Beaver. This is our first inkling that Brenda isn't really happy "stuck" out there in the country. She misses society and the whirl of London. She and John Beaver hit it off and she convinces him, much to Tony's dismay, to stay the entire weekend.

It doesn't take much time at all for Brenda to think she's in love with John. She takes a small flat in London, lying to Tony and telling him she'd like to study a course in Economics. Soon, she's spending more and more time in London, only seeing Tony and John Andrew on the weekends, and even then, usually bringing people with her so she doesn't have to spend too much alone time with Tony. All of society, including Brenda's sister, Marjorie and Tony and Brenda's mutual friend, Jock, know that Brenda and John Beaver are having an affair. It is the talk of all the town, in what I suppose is meant to be part of the humorous part of the book.
At times, John Beaver goes off to travel with his mother, who has ingratiated herself into the Last's life and is now remodeling one of the rooms at Hetton Abbey.

One weekend, John Beaver goes off with his mother to France and Brenda frets for days that something bad will happen to him. It happens to be the same weekend that Hetton Abbey is having its huge annual fox hunt. Brenda won't even stay home for that, even though both Tony and John Andrew beg her to do so. John Andrew will be allowed to ride on a bit of the trail for his first hunt along side his horse trainer and he wants his mother there to see it. But no, she doesn't stay. His father gives instructions that John's only to go for a short bit before heading back to the estate by 1:00. John Andrew is disappointed when the fox and hounds take a turn far from their own pathway, making it impossible that he'll ever get to see any part of the hunt from where he's restricted. Jock, who is along for the hunt, and John's horse trainer, Ben, both say they'd better mind his father. As Ben is taking John back, an accident happens involving a different rider's out-of-control horse. John is thrown from his horse and killed. :-( It's so very sad! Tony is in shock and in a heartbreaking, rambling dialogue tries to figure out how they're going to tell Brenda. Jock offers to go to London immediately to tell her while Tony stays there with John Andrew and makes necessary arrangements.

When Jock finds Brenda, out with her girlfriends, she can immediately tell that something is wrong. Here is the shameless dialogue that instantly added Brenda Last to my least favorite literary characters list:

    Suddenly Brenda became frightened by the strange air of the room and the unfamiliar expression in her friends' faces. She ran downstairs to the room where Jock was waiting.
    "What is it, Jock? Tell me quickly, I'm scared. It's nothing awful, is it?"
    "I'm afraid it is. There's been a very serious accident."
    "John?"
    "Yes."
    "Dead?"
    He nodded.
    She sat down on a hard little Empire chair against the wall, perfectly still with her hands folded in her lap, like a small well-brought-up child introduced into a room full of grown-ups. She said, "Tell me what happened. Why do you know about it first?"
    "I've been down at Hetton since the weekend."
    "Hetton?"
    "Don't you remember? John was going hunting today."
    She frowned, not at once taking in what he was saying. "John...John Andrew...I...Oh thank God..." Then she burst into tears.
    She wept helplessly, turning round in the chair and pressing her forehead against its gilt back.

I gasped when I read it. It was so despicable to me that she thought Jock was talking about John Beaver and when she found out it was her son, her gut instinct said "Oh thank God". I just can't fathom that or get over that at all. Later, as Jock is putting her on the train to head to Hetton she says:

    "When you first told me," she said, "I didn't understand. I didn't know what I was saying."
    "I know."
    "I didn't say anything, did I?"
    "You know what you said."
    "Yes, I know...I didn't mean...I don't think it's any good trying to explain."

Ugh! What a horrible, selfish person she turned out to be. To top it off, she attends John Andrew's funeral and doesn't stay for the weekend with her husband, instead going to stay at her friend, Victoria's, in London. Tony asks to come along and she says no. Even Victoria thinks it's awkward and not the right thing to do. Soon, Brenda writes to Tony and lets him know that she's in love with John Beaver and wants out of the marriage. Tony is shocked about the affair. He had no idea. He's always worried so much about how Brenda was doing. He never dreamed she had cheated on him. He decides to proceed with the divorce, but with another apparent custom of the time; he agrees to go to a hotel for the weekend with another woman, with detectives that HE supplies, so HE can be the one at fault in the divorce...to protect her reputation!! He verbally agrees to a generous "500 hundred a year" for Brenda. In what is supposed to be another humorous bit of the book, I suppose, the woman that agrees to go and spend the actual platonic weekend with Tony brings her young daughter along and the daughter ends up spending all the nights with them as well.

In a conversation we don't ever see, John Beaver encourages Brenda to go for more money. He'll be willing to marry her if she brings alot to the table. After Tony's fake illicit weekend, when Brenda's brother, a solicitor, meets with Tony, he spells out to him that Brenda will require 2000 a year, not 500...and since they have the proof that Tony was an adulterer, the courts will most definitely side with Brenda. Tony is flabbergasted yet again. He says that 2000 a year would break him and to meet that he'd have to sell his beloved family estate just to make that amount. He asks her brother if Brenda realizes that? He wants to speak to Brenda. There's no way Brenda would agree to this solicitation if she knew it meant Tony would have to give up Hetton Abbey. The brother insists she's for it and goes so far as to enlighten Tony that they even intend to request it in court. So, Tony calls Brenda:

    "Brenda, this is Tony....I've just been dining with Reggie."
    "Yes, he said something about it."
    "He tells me that you are going to sue for alimony. Is that so?"
    "Tony, don't be so bullying. The lawyers are doing everything. It's no use coming to me."
    "But did you know that they propose to ask for two thousand?"
    "Yes. They did say that. I know it sounds a lot but..."
    "And you know exactly how my money stands, don't you? You know it means selling Hetton, don't you?...hullo, are you still there?"
    "Yes, I'm here."
    "You know it means that?"
    "Tony, don't make me feel a beast. Everything has been so difficult."
    "You do know what you are asking?"
    "Yes...I suppose so."
    "All right, that's all I wanted to know."
    "Tony, how odd you sound...don't ring off."
    He hung up the receiver and went back to the smoking room. His mind had suddenly become clearer on many points that had puzzled him. A whole Gothic world had come to grief...there was now no armor glittering through the forest glades, no embroidered feet on the green sward; the cream and dappled unicorns had fled...
    "Reggie sat expanded in his chair. "Well?"
    "I got on to her. You were quite right. I'm sorry I didn't believe you. It seemed so unlikely at first."
    "That's all right, my dear fellow."
    "I've decided exactly what's going to happen."
    "Good."
    "Brenda is not going to get her divorce. The evidence I provided at Brighton isn't worth anything. There happens to have been a child there all the time. She slept both nights in the room I am supposed to have occupied. If you care to bring the case I shall defend it and win, but I think when you have seen my evidence you will drop it. I am going away for six months or so. When I come back, if she wishes it, I shall divorce Brenda without settlements of any kind. Is that clear?"
    "But look her my dear fellow."
    "Goodnight. Thank you for the dinner."

OK, I might have squealed a "Yay" out at this point in the book! Finally, Tony saw how horrible Brenda was!! Once Tony goes abroad, Brenda barely has enough to live on from the small amount of money she gets monthly from her own parents' dowry. John Beaver loses interest and goes off to America with his mother. The last we hear of Brenda she's trying to make ends meet. Tony, on the other hand, meets up with an explorer, Dr. Messinger, who is headed to find a lost city in Brazil. Tony foolishly goes along with him and the last couple of chapters of the book describe how they get lost in the Amazon rain forest with a tribe of natives helping them along...natives who eventually leave them. Tony becomes sick with a fever and Dr. Messinger is drowned when he tries to go for help. Tony has hallucinations of Brenda and all the things that have happened to him in the last year. He stumbles upon a clearing with a large hut. Mr. Todd, a native man who speaks English (his father was English, but his mother a native of the area) nurses him back to health. Sadly, though, Mr. Todd never intends to let Tony go!! He keeps him there to read his books to him because Mr. Todd can't read. His book collection is entirely Dickens. Tony brings up the subject of leaving and is never met with success, but he lives in hope that someone from back home must be searching for him. Finally, one day, Mr. Todd takes Tony to a native celebration and drugs him. Tony sleeps for two days and wakes up without his watch. As Tony's head clears, Mr. Todd explains that there was a British search party there looking for Tony. Mr. Todd told them that Tony had died and showed them a grave. Then, Mr. Todd gave them Tony's watch to take home as proof. This is the last we see of poor Tony. :-(

Back home...Tony's cousins have inherited Hetton Abbey, as specified in Tony's will. They hold a memorial service and erect a monument to Tony labeling him an "Explorer". He was only 32 when he died. The book ends with one of Tony's younger-set cousins claiming that he intends to keep up Hetton Abbey and run it just the way Tony would have wanted.

Isn't that a horrible ending??? I was really disappointed by the ending of this book. I wanted Tony to go and have an adventure and come back and maybe meet someone else to make him happy. Oh well! It was a very well written book and I might even be tempted to read Brideshead Revisisted, Waugh's other big book.